What I want my life to be…

I was asked by a dear friend of mine not too long ago what I wanted.  Where did I want my life to go?  I couldn’t answer her. 

My life has been focused on what I want for my family and I’ve given up on my personal dreams.  I don’t see any way that I can afford the time and money to get my Ph.D. in Anthropology with a focus in Religion.  Those degrees don’t allow for you to be working during the day…they’re meant for the young who haven’t joined the work force yet.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my family tremendously and want them to succeed.  I just don’t see the way of my becoming an Anthropology Professor.

Okay, so perhaps that dream is unattainable at this time.  Isn’t there anything else?  How do I get my life to the feeling of where I want to be?  What would it take to get me to where I want my life to be in its essence?  I’ve been thinking about that for a little while now.  I thought that maybe it would help if I started putting in to black and white words what I’ve come up with (so far).  Maybe then I can start looking at how to get there.

Home:  I want a nice, 3-bedroom sub-urban home on a greenbelt with a little bit of land that I can grow herbs and possibly some fruits and vegetables on.  I’d also love to have a kitchen table where friends/neighbors can come over and we can sit down to a nice cup of coffee and chat.  It also needs to have a large kitchen.

Work:  I know that I probably will never be an Anthropology Professor in this lifetime, but I could start working at a community college, or possibly even a university, in another field.  I do have the education for that and discovered during my Associates that I am a fairly good math tutor.  I would also like to expand my roll as an assistant to my artist friends.  I enjoy doing that and would really love to be able to agent in some of them to conventions that we attend.  I would also like to be making enough to be able to afford the time and vacation of attending more events with my husband and his work.

Home:  There’s really not too much wrong with my home life now, other than stressing finances.  I would like to be to the point where the every day finances are not a stress.  If something comes up once a year or so that is a little stressful, that’s okay – but the constant worry of being able to pay my monthly bills is draining and defeating.  I would really like to get past that.

I think that’s about it for now.  I may add to this as needed.  Thanks for listening!

New DragonCon Art in our collection!

About 10 years ago (I don’t recall the exact year), my husband took me to my first DragonCon in Atlanta.  We lived in Orlando at the time, so it wasn’t that big of a logistical nightmare.  I loved it!  I seem to recall that he may have put some pieces in the art show, but I don’t recall if any of it sold.  Anyway, it was a while before we returned – last year to be precise…and now we live outside of Seattle.  The logistics are now a lot more complicated – but he did fairly well in the art show and we had a blast!  We’ve decided that if we have to do extensive traveling for one show per year, DragonCon is going to be the show!  We were back this year and had a table in the artists’ bazaar – so I didn’t get to see much of the convention, but still had a ball and made new friends.

Anyway, I’ve decided to share with anyone interested some of the pieces we’ve started collecting from other artists there.  I will arrange them in categories by artist.

Paul Vincenti

2008:  Autumn (comes up on the main page)

2009:  The Three Graces (under mermaids and maidens); When All Hope Seems Lost (under LotR Inspired)

John E. Kaufmann

2008:  Chicks (I got this for my best friend after seeing it at another convention – I ordered it off his site, but met him at DC this year)

2009: The Study; Reflections of the Shire; Dragon Roar; Mists of Titan; Galactic Paradise

Mark Poole

2009: Forgotten Souls (it’s the last image in Gallery 1)

Dave Cain

2009:  Byzantine Eye Earrings (I got Jade, as pictured, and Chrysanthimum Stone)

Depression sucks…

I’m starting to wonder if there is any link between stress and depression.  I had three days of major stress – so it was not too surprising that I woke up yesterday with what I refer to as a double-whammy headache.  The double whammy is when I get a tension headache (usually at the base of my skull – really bad pain) along with a migraine (sometimes pain, sometimes not – with icky feeling and or nausea and light sensitivity).  However, yesterday and today I have also had feelings of self-pity and general depression.  It also makes me feel lost and wondering what I should do to make myself feel better – oh, and wanting to eat.  I try not to give in to that last part, but sometimes I fail.

I HATE FEELING LIKE THIS!

Oh well.  It will pass.  I just don’t have anyone to turn to.  My husband wants to fix things but doesn’t know how and I don’t know what to tell him.  I also don’t want him to feel badly for me.  What I really want to do is crawl in a hole…or my bed.  But sleep hasn’t been fixing the problem either.  Nor has crocheting and watching movies.

My doctor prescribed an anti-depressant back in June, but it made me sick.  I should learn meditation.  I may have to look into that…

It’s been a while…

Okay, I may be slightly OCD (at least my family swears I am), but I think I’m also a little ADOLAS (Attention Def…Oh Look! A Shiney!).  I jump around a lot from project to project – which may explain the multitude of projects I have started around the apartment.  If you really need proof, just look at my half-way created web page or the crochet projects I have listed on Ravelry (and no, not all of them are there yet).

A lot has been going on lately and I will try to do several posts so that there is some semblance of organization in my thoughts (OCD, remember?).  We’ll just have to see how the next few days go.

Until then…be safe and Light guide your path.

OMG! It’s 8:30 pm and 81 degrees! This is Seattle, people! Where are my 70′s???

I’d rather be sleeping…

A new place for yarn – and friends?

My husband had an event scheduled at a “local” bookstore that used to carry his product.  The event was a bust, but the time was not wasted.  I only have the cuff to do on the left glove and then my first set of crocheted lace gloves will be finished and put up on Etsy!  Rob also got a lot of work done on his next piece.  But the most fantabulous of all was that we discovered a new yarn store only two doors down from the bookstore.

The store is called All Points Yarn and is owned by a charming gentleman named Morgan Hicks.  I instantly loved the place!  It is very appealing when you walk in…small, but not too small with plenty of product and still with areas you can sit an work on your projects while chatting with others.  There is not the feel of what I call snootiness that you can get at other yarn shops.  Best of all, Morgan’s shop is crochet friendly!

A shop that is crochet friendly is very important to me.  I went on the Local Yarn Shops Tour last May with a friend (Morgan’s shop isn’t part of it and he may tell you why if you ask ).  We visited 13 of the 23 shops on the tour.  Now, part of the tour was that eash shop was supposed to have a one-skein pattern that was free (and the yarn used was supposed to be discounted).  ALL of the shops had a knitting pattern – only about half also had a crochet pattern.  I don’t knit.  I tried it once and found out that I prefer crochet.  Morgan does both, but it seemed that he prefered to crochet.  He had a lot of items out that he created the patterns for and were all crochet.   He’s also available if you need help with your projects.

If you’re ever in the area – please stop by and say hello to Morgan.  Tell him Jean also sends her best.  Better yet, if at all possible – help support his business.  We all need to support each other and keep places open.

Sorry it’s been a bit (an update)

I need to be heading out the door for work soon, so this will not be long.  However, I know that a few of you have been a little concerned about my health – especially with the heart scare that I’ve had.  Yesterday was my Echo Stress Tess with the cardiologist, so here are the results:

GOOD NEWS – MY HEART IS FINE!

Better than fine, actually.  He told me that my heart squeezes very strongly, the valves are both working well, and there is no fluid in the heart sack.  There is no sign of me ever having had a heart attack – the blips on my EKG were just blips and my scare in May was probably just what I thought it was – my shower was too hot.  The only thing wrong with my heart is that it’s under-conditioned…which I already knew and have started water arobics to try and get on the path to fixing.  He also said that, right now, if I have any problems it is more than likely NOT going to be with my heart.  That’s not to say I can’t have a problem in the future if I don’t take care of myself.  But right now everything is great!

It was funny.  I warned him about my knee (which, yes, I’m still having issues with – but Cortizone is WONDERFUL!) and he told me just to do what I need to do to keep it from giving out and to let him know when I needed to stop the test.  Keep in mind that my heart rate is always higher than the average person’s…resting yesterday it was fluctuating between 82 and 97.  While I was on the treadmill, he told me that I was already up to 150 and that was 80-85% of the maximum heartrate and “let me know when you need to stop.”  He was telling me that even 3 minutes (they test for 8, ideally) was good.  I think I managed 5…but the treadmill kept speeding up and inclining.  I’m usually fine on a flat surface, but the inclines kill me!  My heartrate was around 170 when I had him stop.  He did another untrasound and my heart was still going strong with no issues.

Everything is good.

Moving blogs…again

Yes, I’m moving my blog site again.  I’ve been trying out a few places to find the one I like best.  I think I’ve finally found my home with WordPress!

Don’t get me wrong.  There’s nothing wrong with LiveJournal or Blogger/Blogspot.  And I’m a fan of Google – they give you so many different applications!  However, I like a lot of the features at WordPress – especially the ability to import my old blogs and comments from both my LiveJournal and Blogger accounts!

Crazy Enough

Crazy Enough

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